Life is busy, and tiring, and requires a lot of calories. Especially from chocolate. So for Lent this year I decided to stick to smaller, more manageable sacrifices. I've been offering up all the lost sleep. And cleaning up my two-year-old after lunch when she's squirming, and fighting me, and somehow covered in more food than I initially served. And emptying the putrid diaper champ. All simple things that I should be offering up but often my mind is elsewhere and I lose out on these graces (which I could really use).
Yesterday I was reflecting on Lent. It seems like it's been going on forever and yet I don't have that feeling that I'm really any better off than when I began. I started feeling bad that I hadn't put more thought in to my sacrifices (although I really have been making them). I wished I had spent more time learning and praying.
Sometimes Lent starts out so well and within a week, it gets so messy!
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Reading through St. Faustina's diary, Divine Mercy in My Soul, I found consolation in the following excerpt:
1029 The doctor did not allow me to go to the chapel to attend the Passion Service, although I had a great desire for it; however, I prayed in my own room. Suddenly I heard the bell in the next room, and I went in and rendered a service to a seriously sick person. When I returned to my room, I suddenly saw the Lord Jesus, who said, My daughter, you gave Me greater pleasure by rendering Me that service than if you had prayed for a long time. I answered, "But it was not You, Jesus, but to that patient that I rendered this service." And the Lord answered me, Yes, My daughter, but whatever you do for your neighbor, you do for Me.
I think I've been missing the churchey experiences: holy hours, rosaries, the Good Friday service. I miss the bells and smells. But a lack of those things doesn't mean I'm not making a good Lent. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I have to be obedient. Sometimes that means missing out on good things in order to carry out God's greater plan.
Well, the Easter Vigil is now well under way. I wish I were there. But I know I'm doing the right thing staying home with the kiddies. Tomorrow is the big day. And with that, I'm off to be the bunny...