Learning to Knit

A few years ago, I was browsing through a catalog of courses being offered in our town.  When I came to the knitting class, I thought "I wish I could do that," and kept going.  Somewhere along the line, I had ascribed to this view of myself as a person with limits.  I was generally quiet, funny with friends, smart, a former-teacher and now mommy...  There was no room in this identity for new interests or pursuits.

A few days later, my friend emailed and asked if I would take the knitting course with her.  I felt like I had to.  First of all, because that's what good friends do (which I don't necessarily agree with anymore, but that was then).  Secondly, because I really wanted to and I felt like I couldn't come up with any more excuses.

So we took the class.  I actually left the house, learned something new, had fun with other adults...  I didn't expect I'd learn to knit (which is strange because that was the point), but I did.  Kinda.  And with the help of YouTube and lots of practice, I got the basics.

Some bunny slippers I knit for my daughter.  Cute and easy.

Last year my mom met a lady who told her about our local knitters guild.  She wrote down tons of info on a tiny piece of paper and gave it to my mom who passed it along to me.  And guess what?  I again thought "I could never do that."  So I threw away the paper.

Six months later, a new friend heard I was a knitter, and invited me to the guild.  So I went (probably following Rule #1 above).  And I realized I was a complete amateur.  These ladies were the real deal.  One lady even raised her own sheep, sheered the wool, and did everything else to make her own yarn, and THEN she knit it.  

I decided to make a shawl after seeing some really beautiful ones at the guild fashion show.  I went to the yarn store, and it was packed with knitters.  Probably 50 or so.  Eating pizza.  Talking about knitting.  Sitting in front of the yarn and smiling at me as I paced the store.  I didn't even know what kind of yarn I wanted to buy (who knew there were so many options).  I almost ran out and swore off knitting forever because I was so overwhelmed.  But for some reason, I didn't.  I stood in a corner out of eye shot and talked to myself (in my head-I'm not completely nuts-I swear).  I realized, all these ladies (and a couple of men) had once been amateurs, too.  They weren't better than me.  They were people who had gotten help and learned to knit.  So I went and got some help from the shopkeeper.  I came home with some gorgeous yarn, and I started in.

It's a little darker, and has some shine, too.  

I'm sure there's knitter terms for it, but I'm still newish.

I'm still working on the shawl.  It's coming along well.  I've probably spent more time undoing and re-knitting than anything else, but I'm learning.  And in some ways, that's way more valuable than the finished product will be.  My knitters-guild-friend and I meet up and knit often.  She's given me some really good advice and helped me learn what to do when I mess up.  

It's easy to say "I could never do that."  Although it's not much fun.  But it is safe.  In order to really learn something, I've found I have to get up and do some work.  And I usually have to interact with other people.  It turns out that's more fun than scary (at least most of the time).  

But I keep running in to people who admire my knitting and say "You are so talented.  I wish I could do that!"  And I say "You can!"  And they say "I could never do that!"

In my own life, there are still times I put things off that I'd like to try.  I'm realizing how important it is to keep learning and trying new things.  It makes life more fun.  And I get to meet fun people.  Taking time for myself throughout the week helps me to be a better wife and mother.  It's easier to play Batman (for the millionth time) or to calm a crying two-year-old when I know I've got a break coming.

Tonight I'm going swimming.  I've wanted to swim laps for exercise for the longest time.  And subconsciously I've told myself "I can't do that."  Because I have to watch the kids.  I have to make dinner.  I'm not sure I can commit to going on a regular basis.  I would have to wear a bathing suit.  I'm not sure how many times to do the front stroke.  Or how fast to swim.  Or how long I can swim for.

But I'm going.  I can't wait!

Feeling a Little Odd

My husband recently posted the famous Flannery O'Connor quote: "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you odd."  That sounds about right.


The other day, a loved one mentioned she was going to start taking yoga classes.  So I took a deep breath and threw out a few cautionary comments about Hinduism and the occult and whatnot.  And as I listened to myself, I realized how weird I am.  I sounded like the Church Lady: "And who likes to practice yoga?  Could it be...mmmmm...SATAN?!"




But I know the spiritual world is real, full of angels and demons and battle.  So I have to speak up.  At the risk of sounding like the Freak of the Week.

Today I'm thankful for the many friends I've made over the past few years who make an effort each day to do God's will.  It's a lot easier to be Strange when you've got company.

Lent 2012

Life is busy, and tiring, and requires a lot of calories.  Especially from chocolate.  So for Lent this year I decided to stick to smaller, more manageable sacrifices.  I've been offering up all the lost sleep.  And cleaning up my two-year-old after lunch when she's squirming, and fighting me, and somehow covered in more food than I initially served.  And emptying the putrid diaper champ.  All simple things that I should be offering up but often my mind is elsewhere and I lose out on these graces (which I could really use).

Yesterday I was reflecting on Lent.  It seems like it's been going on forever and yet I don't have that feeling that I'm really any better off than when I began.  I started feeling bad that I hadn't put more thought in to my sacrifices (although I really have been making them).  I wished I had spent more time learning and praying.

Sometimes Lent starts out so well and within a week, it gets so messy!

Printable from http://catholicicing.com

Reading through St. Faustina's diary, Divine Mercy in My Soul, I found consolation in the following excerpt:

1029 The doctor did not allow me to go to the chapel to attend the Passion Service, although I had a great desire for it; however, I prayed in my own room.  Suddenly I heard the bell in the next room, and I went in and rendered a service to a seriously sick person.  When I returned to my room, I suddenly saw the Lord Jesus, who said, My daughter, you gave Me greater pleasure by rendering Me that service than if you had prayed for a long time.  I answered, "But it was not You, Jesus, but to that patient that I rendered this service."  And the Lord answered me, Yes, My daughter, but whatever you do for your neighbor, you do for Me.

I think I've been missing the churchey experiences: holy hours, rosaries, the Good Friday service.  I miss the bells and smells.  But a lack of those things doesn't mean I'm not making a good Lent.  In fact, it's quite the opposite.  I have to be obedient.  Sometimes that means missing out on good things in order to carry out God's greater plan.  

Well, the Easter Vigil is now well under way.  I wish I were there.  But I know I'm doing the right thing staying home with the kiddies.  Tomorrow is the big day.  And with that, I'm off to be the bunny...

To Blog or Not to Blog

I quit the blog.  I was afraid that I might be showey-offey without meaning to be.  Then I got really critical of all my thoughts.  Then I quit.

I am hesitant to write again.  I really don't have time to blog.  I don't have time for anything.  I have little kids.  But there is a part of me that really enjoys writing.  I feel like I shouldn't start if I'm not ready to make a long term commitment.  But my husband has been telling me blogs aren't like that.  Maybe he's right.  He usually is.

I also fear being overexposed.  I was starting to feel like random people I didn't know might know me.  Or know my kids.  But I think I can be careful about that.

I guess it's all about balance.

Anyways, now that I've lost all my readers, I have nothing to fear.  I can write for myself.  

Bedtime for Little Boys

My son is 3 and a half.  At this age I think the half makes a big difference.  Anyways, some days he naps, and some days he can't so he has rest time.  He reads books quietly in his room for a little while.  I mean it's his version of quiet.  He doesn't speak or sing.  But his feet are very noisy as he runs from his bed to the bookshelf to grab the next treasure, and then back again.

Trying out his sister's big girl bed.

Depending on where we are on the nap cycle, bedtime behavior greatly varies.  The whole cycle is rather fascinating:

Day 1 Nap: Good and long.  The kind where I have to wake him up and he's still groggy.
          Bedtime: His body is going in every direction.  He's trying to test the limits of his muscles and gravity           and the sturdiness of the walls.  He's squealing and grunting and noisy.  He's well behaved but wild.  Sometimes this wildness lands him in trouble.  The trouble is more a consequence of his exuberance than the actual problem.

Day 2 Nap: Short but still counts.
          Bedtime: Probably the best bedtime.  Less wild.  Less trouble.  Still needs lots of reminders to put on his pj's, sit on the pot, quiet down so as not to wake the baby...but he's 3 (and a half).

Day 3 Nap: Non-Existent -it's to be expected
          Bedtime: More unruly.  Louder in an unpleasant, crying, disobedient sort of way.  A little out of control.

Day 4: Nap: Again, no nap.  But today he needed it.  He's tired.
           Bedtime: Very unpleasant for everyone in the home.  Let's just rush him into the bed as fast as possible because any consequences will just make it a million times worse (not that there are no consequences, just that we try to keep him busy enough that he doesn't earn any).

Day 5 (this is SUPER rare)
          Nap: No nap.  WAAAY too overtired.  You know you're in trouble for the afternoon and evening.
          Bedtime: He asks for it early.  He lays on the floor and sucks his thumb.  He doesn't even want a story. He just wants to go to bed.  Bedtime was too easy.  You spend the night checking on him to make sure he's ok because he must be sick.  Only he isn't, he's just finally worn himself out.

So many blurry pictures of this little man.  He's always runnin'.

I have yet to find a way to alter the cycle.  I can run him ragged, but he will sleep or not sleep depending on where he is.  Little boys are amazing.  And exhausting.  But in the best way.  At least most of the time.

How Little Boys Decorate

My son attached monster trucks to the swing's mobile.  

Considering how much he loves monster trucks I think it was a very loving gesture.

The First Noel

Saturday as I reflected on the Joyful Mysteries, I again marveled at the gift we were given on the first Christmas.  Emmanuel.  God with us.

from flickr by Lawrence OP

In the first decade we remember the Annunciation and pray for humility.  I put myself in the place of Our Lady.  Because God sent Jesus to Mary, and He also sent Christ to us.  To teach us and to save us.  When Mary humbly gave her fiat, she received the gift of God's son in her womb, and so we also received our savior.  I pray for humbleness in receiving such a gift.

In the second decade we remember the Visitation and pray for charity.  Mary brought the gift of Christ to Elizabeth.  She literally brought the baby with her, but she also brought His love to Elizabeth through her service.  Blessed Mother, pray that I may bring the love of your divine son to others.

In the third decade, we remember the Nativity and pray for poverty.  Lord, make me poor in spirit.  Especially at Christmas when we should be focused on Jesus but the world is focused on things.  It really is distracting.   

As I walk through the house and pass piles of new toys and piles of old clothes and toys waiting to be donated it's easy to be frustrated by stuff.  But if I remember that this stuff is not eternal (I can almost imagine it's gone) I can remember God's will and focus on that.  Then I can deal with the stuff.

I am thankful for Christmastide.  I'm thankful it lasts many days.  After all the anticipation and preparation of Advent, I can be still and adore our Lord.  

Venite Adoremus

This guy is a garbage man.  I found him like this last night.  It was so sweet.  

And On Earth, Peace.

Today I made a holy hour before the Blessed Sacrament.  Actually it was a holy 45 minutes because I had to get home in time to take my kids to see Santa arrive in our village.  Poor Jesus getting trumped by Santa.  But not really.  Anyways, as you can tell it was a busy day during a busy time of year, but squeezing in that time with our Lord was a complete blessing.  I'm realizing that when I have no time to spare, that's when I really need to just drop everything and pray.

So I knelt down and thanked Jesus for His presence and promptly asked Him to unburden me from my busyness so I could focus on Him.  And as I prayed, I was again drawn to the pregnant virgin.  She is really helping me to grow this Advent.

Imagine the Blessed Mother radiant in her ninth month of pregnancy.  She has her hand on her belly.  I can almost hear her humming a lullaby.  And while everyone around her is running around keeping house, making food, hammering and nailing she is at peace.  She knows a great secret.  That Jesus, Emanuel, is coming.  She adored him as he grew in her womb.    

When things get too hectic, I can come back to this image.  I can share in Mary's secret; that all the preparations and day to day life are not the important thing.  Our Savior is coming.  I too can adore him in the midst of chaos.  After all, Advent isn't just about baking cookies and wrapping presents and decorating houses, it's about preparing the way of the Lord.

Jesse Tree

It's December 1st!  Are you ready with your Jesse tree?  I wasn't.  But it's up now, so we're all set.  

This is what the kitchen looked like around 2:00 this afternoon.

You can't tell, but the dishwasher needed to be emptied, too.  When it rains, it pours.

I still hadn't cleaned up lunch, but even two hour old milk in a blue plastic cup couldn't keep me from my mission: to prepare the Jesse Tree.  For anyone who is wondering, a Jesse Tree is a "tree" that is decorated with one ornament each day of December leading up until Christmas (similar to an Advent calendar).  The ornaments have symbols on them that correlate to passages in the Bible, and the whole thing traces Jesus' lineage (from Jesse, hence "Jesse tree").  

Now, I was slightly prepared.  I had a branch for our tree out under the car port, but it was my "if I can't find a better branch" branch.  So I had to attack it with some loppers, but it turned out quite nice.

I found these in the garage-I didn't even know we had these ones-they are Craftsman!  My lucky day.

Here it is coming together

More of the mess in the kitchen.  Lots of Stuff to put away.  But first, the Jesse tree.

There are many reasons why I love this tradition, but mostly I love it because my husband and I made the ornaments.

My husband is not into crafting.  He is very artistic, but he doesn't craft.  But I convinced him to make these ornaments a few years ago when my son was a new baby.  We made them over the course of several nights.  My husband realized it was fun; it took him back to his Play-Doh days.  We made them from clay (probably Fimo).

There are many ways to make a Jesse tree-just paper ornaments taped to poster board, or felt on felt, or ornaments on a branch or mini-Christmas tree.  I like the idea of a bare branch, so that's what we use.  For some reason I decided to MacGyver our tree and it works, so I still do it this weird way.  I have an old bucket that I cover with purple tissue paper that I found down in my basement.  I didn't have oasis to put in the container and stick the branch in, so I got a cup and filled it with stones to hold the branch.  But it was tippy, so I filled the rest of the container with big potpurri (because it was the only thing I could find laying around the house):

Here it is with the branch stuck in it:

I just keep all these parts together and keep using them every year.  I probably should get organized after Christmas and get something more normal.  But in the end, I think it looks nice.

The white bow definitely helps.

Tonight we will add our first ornament and remember how God created the world out of nothing because of his great love for us.  I just love Advent :)

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

 Happy Thursday!

{pretty}

My aunts on Thanksgiving Day.  I'm so glad they flew in to eat turkey with us!

{happy}

The cheeks, they are a-growin'!  

{funny}

Father and son showing off their matching Thanksgiving attire.  Very handsome.
And silly.

{real}

This is why you shouldn't give children food in the car (or van in our case).  What a mess!  She's in an Oreo and Barney daze :)

Check out more {p,h,f,r} and join in at Like Mother Like Daughter. 

Introduction to the Devout Life

A friend shared an amazing resource with me that I have to share with you.  Calvin College hosts the Christian Classics Ethereal Library where one can read the writing of many Christian scholars (for free!).  I had mentioned my desire to improve my prayer life during Lent, and my friend suggested I use the 10 meditations from St Francis de Sales Introduction to the Devout Life found here.  I did the first meditation tonight and I can honestly say my prayer went from the usual boring laundry list that I can't even focus on to actual adoration from my soul.  Amazing.  I hope you'll also find it fruitful.

Trouble

Said by a child who lost dessert because he repeatedly woke up his mommy in the night for no good reason:

"This macaroni is like a dessert for me!"

Fantastic.

Advent

I stood in my basement, staring at piles of laundry.  I was feeling overwhelmed.  I had a million things to do and not much time to do them.  And Advent was about to begin.  Now I love Advent (it's my favorite time of year) but it's very busy.

Somehow my mind wandered on to Our Blessed Mother.  How did she feel during Advent?  My snarky self pictured an overwhelmed pregnant lady who just found out she had to travel to Bethlehem:
"Are you freaking kidding me?!  You can tell Caesar Augustus to come to US if he wants our information.  I just got back from helping Elizabeth and now I'm supposed to hop on a donkey when I'm nine months pregnant and travel to Bethlehem?!"

Hmmm...that doesn't sound like Our Lady.  That sounds like me.

I know Our Lady lived a life without sin.  Which means she didn't complain to God and flip out on St. Joseph.  She discerned God's will, and she went with it.  Not begrudgingly, but lovingly.  Because she loved God and she wanted to do His will.

As I reflected on this, I realized I've been doing a lot of complaining lately.  Now my life is busy with three small children, but I must admit I've got it really good.  And even if things weren't going so well (and hard times are sure to come) wallowing in despair is not the proper response.  Not if I want to do God's will so I can live with him forever in Heaven.

This Advent I'm going to complain less and listen to God more.  I will spend more time in prayer.  I've decided to devote ten extra minutes each day to just get away from the grind and adore God.  To prepare myself for the birth of His son, Christ Jesus.

I'm also going to make it a priority to make a holy hour before the Blessed Sacrament each week.  This will take planning, but it's totally doable.

I made a good confession today, something I haven't done in far too long, to prepare for Advent.  I'm hopeful that God's grace will help me to seek Jesus.

Happy Advent!  And Happy New-Mass-Translation!  We are truly blessed.

Happy Thanksgiving!

At this moment I was thankful to Macy's for their Thanksgiving Day Parade because it gave my husband and I  a chance to shower and get all dolled up for Thanksgiving dinner while the children sat glued to the tv.  Also, to the musical Sister Act because I think my daughter is more likely to consider a calling to the religious life after seeing nuns in glitter and sequins.  

Prudence

Last week I did a post on patience in which I realized I really needed to focus on the seven virtues laid out by the Church. I have some gaps in my Catholic knowledge, so you'll have to bear with me.  This week, I'm looking in to prudence.

Virtues with Turkeys

I had an inkling of a definition for prudence, but honestly I wasn't really sure about it.  


According to the Catholic Encyclopedia, prudence is contracted from the Latin providentia which means seeing ahead.


Here's a definition from the Catechism:

1806 Prudence is the virtue that disposes practical reason to discern our true good in every circumstance and to choose the right means of achieving it; "the prudent man looks where he is going."⁶⁵ "Keep sane and sober for your prayers."⁶⁶ Prudence is "right reason in action," writes St. Thomas Aquinas, following Aristotle.<sup>67


This seems like just the virtue for me this week.  I've been stressed out from traveling with small children last weekend, hosting company this week, preparing for Thanksgiving, and planning for Christmas. It should be noted that my hosting consists of people stopping over for a couple of hours and it isn't for meals, and my Thanksgiving prep is making one measly pie (nothing heroic here).</sup>

^{How do babies know when we're busy?  I've been anxious about getting things done and of course my daughter just needs to be held.  Today as I held her I knew God would rather I comfort his sweet child than dust the house.  That was the prudent decision (also obvious-she was crying).  But realizing it was prudence, and not a nuisance, allowed me to let go and enjoy the moment.}  

This is so much better than dusting.

^{The CCC also says:}
1835 Prudence disposes the practical reason to discern, in every circumstance, our true good and to choose the right means for achieving it.

My crazy helpers.  They stopped dancing long enough to dump in some brown sugar.  Sometimes we bake on the floor so as to avoid standing on chairs which leads to chicken fights and potential falls.

We can practice prudence in many ways big and small.  One must be prudent in deciding how to use his time.  Parents need to use prudence when making decisions about schooling for their children.  I try to use prudence in buying things for our family.  Some say it is the mother of all virtues because it can guide our decisions and actions.

Super Husband!  Headed out to buy some nutmeg because his wife was lacking prudence and didn't check to make sure she had all the ingredients ahead of time.  Also picking up beans to act as oven weights.  

1810 Human virtues acquired by education, by deliberate acts and by a perseverance ever-renewed in repeated efforts are purified and elevated by divine grace. With God's help, they forge character and give facility in the practice of the good. The virtuous man is happy to practice them.  (CCC)


With that, I'm off to finish the pie.  Happy Thanksgiving!

The Family Rosary

Most nights before bed we gather around a candle for Family Prayer.  We sing a song, offer petitions and praises, and pray the Glory Be.  The kids alternate picking the song and blowing out the candle.  They also alternate throwing big fits or being goofy or running around.  Sometimes they wow us with a synchronized effort. But they are little and they are learning.

One goal I had for our family was to pray the rosary together.  But because of their often unruly prayer-time behavior, I figured praying the rosary was something we'd have to wait to do until at least the first ones were quite a bit older.

My parents gave me this rosary for my first communion.  I love it because the beads are pink hearts.  

Last month I read a post over at Our Mother's Daughters in which Leila clearly outlined how to begin praying a family rosary.  Not only was it very practical, but she gave specific advice about how to introduce it to young squirmy noisy children like mine!  You really need to go over and read it.

I told my husband about it and his reaction was just what I expected: doubtful.  But after I gave him the details he said he'd be up for trying it.  I just needed to gather up some rosaries.

My great-uncle, who was a priest, brought me this rosary from Medjugorje.

Well I put that little job off-making it out to be a much bigger job in my head than it really was.  Fast forward through the entire month of October and half of November to last Saturday night.  The night I mentioned where we were all on bad behavior from traveling and no naps.  There was NO WAY we were going to do family prayer.  Unless...

I grabbed the rosaries (it took 1 minute-why do I put these things off?) lit a candle and called the kids.  Just holding the beautiful beads in their chubby hands dropped the intensity in the room by half.  We prayed just the "tail"-everything before the first decade.  The kids already knew the Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be so they could join in.  They felt very grown up because they knew it was a special prayer Mommy and Daddy prayed.  It was truly amazing.

So we've done it three times total.  It has gone so well that we're going to do the tail plus a decade tonight.  Last night when I pulled out the little bags that hold the rosaries they were so excited that they came running into the room shouting "Ro-za-ree!  Ro-za-ree!"

This rosary belonged to the same great-uncle who was a priest.  My dad gave it to my husband when he came in to the Church, but I took it over.  My great-uncle and his twin brother were both called to be priests-how cool is that?!

I realize the enthusiasm will wear off.  But seriously, it's possible to pray (at least some) of the rosary with little, crazy, wild children.  In the words of JP2: "Be not afraid."

I told the kids that at the end, after the sign of the cross, they could give Jesus a kiss.  My son gave him a zerbert (we call it a zurp).  But that's a sign of affection around here, so I bet the Lord doesn't mind.

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

{pretty}

This is the cake I made for my daughter's second birthday.  I really don't know how to decorate cakes, but this was super easy and turned out great.  Here's a link to the directions-only a little time intensive since I used several colors.

{happy}

Here are the kiddies and my mom waiting for some pizza at the birthday party.

{funny}

These two are wearing the container for the new bristle blocks on their heads.  He is the king, and she is the queen.  With a smushed up nose (although I don't think it shows up in the picture).

{real}

Has anyone seen my replacement HEPA filter?  Me neither.  Last year I put it away someplace safe so I'd remember where to find it.  I guess I'll just have to suck it up and buy another one.

Also {real} some of my pictures rotate wrong when I upload them to blogger.  I don't know why.  Here's a good example.  But since it's a filter, and not a person, it's ok to leave it sideways.

Check out more {p,h,f,r} and join in at Like Mother Like Daughter.  Happy Thursday!

Present Prep

We just celebrated a birthday!  Our daughter turned two yesterday.

Along with the baking and buying and wrapping I've found another -ing that I do before the influx of gifts: purging.  And by purging I mean pulling out all the toys that the children have outgrown, washing them, and stuffing them in bins down in the basement.  Because we are a young family and I know someday another child will likely enjoy these toys.  I really should give many of our toys away because we have too many, but I'm not sure which ones are keepers (I'm still a rookie at this mommy thing) so I'm just keeping them put away for now until I can make a more seasoned-mommy decision.

A couple years ago I had a nervous breakdown (not really, but you know what I mean) when Christmas ended and we had mounds of toys and nowhere to put them.  I ran around to store after store comparing storage options and came home in a flurry and ordered my husband to put things together and in the end we had homes for our things.  Only it was a very stressful day with lots of flipping out by me and I'd rather not turn that into an after-Christmas tradition.

So now before we get gifts, I make sure we have a home for them.  I'm wondering how this will work out in the years to come as we acquire more things because I feel like we're nearing maximum capacity already with only 3.5 years under our belt.  But I guess I'll be even wiser then (imagine!) so I'll come up with something.

This is actually in our dining room.  That's why I got a nicer-looking shelf and baskets.  I'm just not up for a play-room.  I'm cool with people having them.  I just don't want one.  I guess most people wouldn't be as cool with toys in the dining room.

We are also trying to curb the amount of things coming into our home.  But that's a post for another day.

Can you tell the kids don't watch movies?

Anyways, now we're enjoying the birthday toys and I'm sitting on the floor looking around and trying to think of where to house Christmas gifts.

I'll leave you with a picture from that fated flip-out Christmas.  My parents got our son this awesome tent and tunnel.  It's super fun and super huge.  It took up the entire living room.  Grandparents.